Day 135 – Why do you keep on struggling?

Yes. There is no need for you to struggle. You can just let things go and work their self out. It will all work out in the end. Or will it?

It’s May already and it’s been all so fast since I started on this journey. 400 days, more than a quarter of that time has already passed. There’s been a lot of learning along the way, especially hindsight from mistakes.

The most exciting thing that has happened since this project is my journey on becoming an entrepreneur.Due to my extracurricular activities I’ve gotten into some interesting working environments. And I’ve somehow managed to get myself accepted for a workshop on entrepreneurship this coming August.  Now, the main challenge is getting up from the dip I’ve been and run the final sprint to finishing my BA in Economics. It is going to be a lot of work to finish the thesis but I want to stick to it and see what I am capable of.

What I’ve discovered from the journey so far is that it is a lot easier to just do things rather than psyching myself up to just simply doing the work. Sound simple enough, doesn’t it. Oh yeah, that’s the second learning point – things are usually just that simple.

With these lessons imprinted into my memory, I’ve worked consistently on changing my rhythm and get rid of some bad habits. The greatest achievement so far is surprisingly enough something as small and simple as “eating habits”. After having a little pep talk from a personal trainer I received a tip on eating every 3-4 hours to maintain a stable blood sugar level. Right after I received the tip, I’ve started on developing the new habit right away. Slowly but surely since that day in December 2011 I’ve learned how to eat regularly and also felt a positive change in my energy level. Although surprisingly, the unexpected change is that I’ve learned to appreciate eating bread, fruits and vegetable more.

After savoring the feeling of having control over my eating habits I’ve gone to the next step which is exercising. This week my goal was to got to Zumba 4 times. So far I’ve done 3 out of 4 and feeling very happy about it despite some of the muscle pain. Still there’s 2 more days before the week ends… Managing to change this basic routines have been nothing but a simple test. Also, there is still this challenge of erasing my greatest time thief of all, which is reading manga online… Still, I struggle lightly every day to achieve my goal. Yet today I feel somewhat happy, proud and victorious over my small achievements so far.

The constant battle between My Present & Future Self

It’s 2012 and just like everyone else I’ve made a handful of New Years’ Resolution. To prepare myself for this year I planned the work and now it’s mainly up to me to work it out. However lately I feel that I am in a constant battle with myself.

On developing the year plan, I’ve used all the tools & tricks that I’ve gathered throughout these past 2-3 years on time management, personal management and self-awareness. I’ve noted down my habits  and willingness to act. The weekly plan up to week 17 has been filled and I have already a good overview on my activities for the next 3 months. My goals have qualitative and quantitative measurements. They’re realistic, not to optimistic but not overly pathetic & pessimistic either.

My priorities are in order. I set education as my first priority, career as second, health as third and relationships as fourth. I plan to complete my bachelor degree in economics and 1 semester of a year course in arts.  At work I’d set to learn as much as possible about cosmetics, perfumes and alcohol. At my business I’d set to help 5-12 people in developing their own business. About my health I’ve set my goal on doing exercises 2-3 times a week and lose about 5-10 kg during the year. Lastly but not the least, I intend to visit my parents in Egersund 2x a month.

I’ve always been an ambitious person and its been more than once or twice that I’ve set myself to fail due to my inability to balance my expectations to my abilities and willingness to act. This year, my main goal, is to improve my relationship with myself. To prove to myself that I can set goals, act upon them and reap the fruits of my labor. My main challenge however is self-discipline, or to be precise, my lack a good one. Being impulsive, curious and sporadic has set its tracks on my habits. Therefore I decided to work on the basics with hope that I’ll succeed and meet at least 50-70% of my goals for this year.

January 1, 2012 at 4:00am til 11:00am I was at work. Since December I’ve been polishing the plan, proof checking it and started already on working on the habits of going to gym and eating a balanced diet. There are however very many temptations and distractions along the way. Thus I need to work on the commitment along with the self-discipline. 2012 will definitely be an interesting year.

Juggling with my Dream

Today has been a long day as usual. Luckily this early morning I had some time to sleep in a little bit more than the “usual”. I got up at 9, hit the shower, had a decent breakfast and went to the university. Then I had an apointment with an aquaintance and went to my only class for today: production management. So far my impression about this subject is that it is fun. This is the first subject by far that I think I can really have fun studying.

 

Then came the doubt. Will I have time to study? When I get thoughts like this one, I try not to think: It’s impossible”, “I don’t have time” or “It will never work”, because if I do I know for a fact that it will be “impossible”. I believe that rather on focusing on the why, I should instead focus on the how. Now this is where I should review my know-how on making things happen.

 

There are 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and 60 minutes in an hour. This is a fact. Although I wish sometimes there could have been more hours day. Then again do I really need more time, or do I justwant more time? What’s the difference? Well I think sometimes it is easier to wish for more of something, especially when you think you are lacking it, simply because it is easier to wish. Also if you wish for something and you don’t get it, you can put the blame somewhere else aside from yourself. Take for example time or money.

 

There are 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and 60 minutes in an hour. This is a fact. A normal week for me this january has been so far a mix of travelling, studying, AIESEC work, UiS-ambassador-job and researching for CCPro. My Mondays are packed with lectures, so I don’t have much time to read. Although to my surprise I still find time to blog… Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are more flexible. The weekends are now, for a change, available unless I am put on duty at my part-time job at a bar downtown.

 

Due to my recent travelling and work lately, time seems to have passed me by, not swiftly, but at a speed of light. Thankfully, due to my painstakingly hard work from December, I have results to show in AIESEC. However I am not completely satisfied at how my time is being used. Off course I am getting things done. I am having fun doing my activities but there is still something that seems a bit off. I sense some randomness in my schedule and I don’t like it. My boyfriend tells me I am a control freak. Now I don’t acknowledge that because I only try my best to keep things organized. Does this sound like an excuse?

 

There are 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and 60 minutes in an hour. This is a fact and I like it like that. I do want to have more time. 24 hours a day is just about right for me. I know for a fact that if there were more hours in a day, I would either work myself to exhaustion or simply get lazy. I do not wish to control everything that is about to happen within a minute. What I want to achieve is to attain a sense of flow in my activities and a sense of meaning. That each of my action contributes to what I want to achieve at the end of the year.